Chuck Norris Facts (picked by the man himself)

::When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

::Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

::There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

::Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

::Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

::Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

::Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

::Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.

::There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

::When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

::Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

::Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

::Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

::Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

::Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

::Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

::Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

::Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

For more on Chuck, click here.


~ by Dan Browne on April 12, 2008.

One Response to “Chuck Norris Facts (picked by the man himself)”

  1. you had to bring out the Chuck Norris Jokes!

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