My Stubborn Heart

It amazes me that I can not get back into God’s word like I was. I was going so strong and felt so much closer to him, yet now here I am drawn away. Why? I am no better then I was before. God loves me just the same, it’s I who chooses to put space between us in our relationship. I have drawn away. Why? I feel hurt because we lost our child and Beck has been through so much. Her pain is my pain.

How can all things work for the Glory of God when crap like this happens? I know I can’t see the big picture, but I am still here, I am still struggling to understand. Why? How come it has to hurt so much. My relationships with God, with my wife, my friends, everyone… they all suffer. I’m mad at God. Guy really challenged me, he said there is something separating me from God right now, something that is in the way. he is right, it’s my stubborn heart. Maybe it’s more or less my stubborn pride that is in the way.

Where are you God? Where is your comfort and joy this season?

Ease the pain of our troubled hearts.


~ by Dan Browne on December 24, 2006.

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